Monday, March 7, 2016

Trust.


Life is hard sometimes, ya know. That's why we disappeared from responsibilities and spent the morning at the coast a few weeks ago. Because there's only so much school and homework and stress and decision-making one person can take before they have to drive away and let it go. So that's what we did.

Lately, and to be completely honest probably always, I've struggled with trusting that there is a plan for me and that something good is about to happen. This time of life is the first time that I haven't really known something about what the future looks like. When I was younger, I knew that I would be with my parents and attend the same school the following year. I just knew.

When I was in high school I made a plan to attend college and I went. In each year of college there was some difficulty in figuring out what my 'next step' would be, but something always turned up (note to self...) But this year, I feel like instead of the usual 'two weeks of lost wandering Sammy feeling' I've felt that way since September. I have very little mapped out for next year and I'm so stressed about it! I've learned some things over the last few weeks that have been really helpful. For instance, I'm staying in my college town for the next year (at least) and in my same house because I like this area, and Ry is here, but I still don't have a job lined up.

Nobody does. But still. It's this whole 'not knowing' things that's getting to me. And I don't like it. So, if I get too rambly about how unsure I am about life, bring me back here please.

Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all of your ways acknowledge Him and he will make your paths straight."

Maybe someday, hopefully soon, I'll look back on this post and laugh because my classroom will be great and I'll be happy. Maybe I'll read this post and laugh because I'm doing something different, but way better. I know it'll work out, I just want to get there already. I'm impatient.

Linking up with What Joy Is Mine's Monday Musings #206.




2 comments:

  1. It's always hard not knowing what's coming next. Hopefully you'll find a great job in your area!

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  2. These were my EXACT THOUGHTS right after I graduated college and was searching for a teaching job (especially in late August when nothing had come through yet!! Ahh!). But you're right that we have to trust God. And that's sort of exciting (despite it being nerve wracking!), right? That ANYTHING could happen next! (My in-flux post is over here: http://www.ahopefulhood.com/2014/08/an-uncertain-time.html?m=1)

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