Friday, November 20, 2015

11.20.15 - Remind Me Who I Am

"When I lose my way, and I forget my name, remind me who I am." - Jason Gray.





I know that I can't be the only person in the world who goes through some self-doubt sometimes. I'm not? Phew. And I know I'm not the only one who goes through these self-doubting stages in seasons. I'll have times when I'm so confused about who I'm supposed to be and what God wants me to do that I start doubting everything. If I chose the right college. If I'm supposed to be a teacher. If I'm spending time with the right people. If I'm brushing my teeth correctly. If I'm nice enough, smart enough, pretty enough, and if I worry about those things too much, and if I do- does that make me a bad person?


I worry.



I stress.



And then I let it go until the next time I worry and stress.



But, lately I've been really good. For the first time in a long time I feel extremely content. I love every class that I'm taking and for the first time in a long while (lookin' at you, prereq courses) I feel like the things I'm being taught are actually relevant and applicable to my goals. Speaking of goals, I love my student teaching placement. Waking up at 6:30am is rough, and I don't like it, but when I get to school everything is great. I love being able to see the impact I'm having on kids' education and their lives.



I'm so happy in my relationship it's ridiculous. On the good days and the challenging days I'm reminded of how wonderful the man of God I have is, and I'm so thankful for his ability to love and challenge me to be a better person.



And I'm just so blessed, guys. And I know that it's obnoxious to hear about how busy someone is, and how much they have to do, and then hear them ramble about their happiness because we all know life isn't happiness and glitter rainbows everyday. There's still some dirt thrown in. But my glitter rainbows shine brighter than my dirt does.



So, public thank you to Jesus, for reminding me when I was down of who I am, where I've been, and most importantly- where I'm going. 

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